Client: Macy’s is the largest department store company in the United States, selling a wide variety of products including clothing, cosmetics, furniture, and electronics.

Audience: Men between the ages of 28 and 45 who will typically purchase one or two sweaters each year but don’t tend to see the Fall season as an opportunity to invest in an upgraded wardrobe. Savings and convenience are their primary shopping motivations. They are also motivated by excellent style.

Tone: Promotional, urgent, clever.

Challenge: The client wanted to promote their Men’s Fall Sweater Event, where men could shop for a wide variety of stylish sweaters from top name brands at up to 40% off. The email was designed to drive men into stores on specific dates and increase the fall sweater revenue.

Strategy: Nobody knows how they’ll benefit from a “Men’s Fall Sweater Event” so stating it in the headline would not be enough to create any meaningful interest. So instead, I opted to capture interest by mentioning the main consumer benefit (40% off stylish sweaters). The purpose of including “still” was to establish trust by reminding a convenience-minded audience that Macy’s will do the hard work for them in selecting stylish clothing as they always have. Once the email recipient knows what’s in it for them, the subhead explains where (Men’s Fall Sweater Event) and when (September 8-10) the benefit can be obtained. The body copy further expands on the event’s main benefit (stylish clothing for less).